Six With Sticks

This morning, I got a call from my dad that Miss Marge died suddenly this morning.  I just saw her a few weeks ago.

Miss Marge always believed in me.  I was an awkward kid.  Some people did not pay me mind.  But Miss Marge treated me like I was special.  And she believed that I would be special.  I am very sad to learn of her passing.  And I am sad that I never told her that she gave me confidence.  I never told her that she helped me to believe in myself when others didn’t.  And I never told her how much I appreciated her welcoming Marcia into our family.

Rest in peace, Marge Kenney.

 Elizabeth was recently selected to the Brine All American Academy.  She will be playing in Richmond, Virginia in June and July on the State of MD team.  She will be competing against 9 other states.  She will be coached by college coaches, and have the opportunity to play with the best players in the state.

I am so proud of her.  She has already accomplished things that I never will.  She works hard and is determined.  She is smarter than me.  She is feeling the pressure though.  I can see it.  It is all over her.  She is working hard, and training with her grandfather.  But each day, I can see that his pressure is wearing on her.

It happened to me.  And I did not weather it well.  I fear she may go the same path.

I am up in the middle of the night.  Mind racing.  Can’t go back to sleep.  So I have done some organizing of stuff on the computer.  Organizing of lacrosse stuff.  Running a club and a league, while coaching teams, has been a monumental task this spring.  When you do so much, you can’t do any of it well.

And I do believe that is what is happening with me.

There is also a ton of stress surrounding this spring league this year.  Is it worth the aggravation?  I am not so sure.

The cost to my family is getting very high.  Very high.

Eden’s team won the NPYGLL championship yesterday.  It is an impressive team we have assembled and coached in the Redshirts.  Lots of fun.  They had a signature win yesterday, 19-10, over M&D Black.  Very nice.

I am so proud of Eden.  She was throwing fakes and going to the goal.  She had a hat trick in one of the games.

Keep on getting better kiddo, and gaining confidence.

It was a busy day for me and for the family.  The best part of my day was certainly the beginning of the day.  We arrived early to the field.  Just me and Eden and a bucket of balls.  I chucked balls to her and she shot them in the net.  Two buckets full.  Good day.

Maggie is playing on a 2nd/3rd grade travel team and the same age in-house team at LTRC as a 1st grader.  In her game on Friday night, she scored 3 goals.  And yesterday, she had 1 or 2 goals, she can’t remember.  Pretty awesome.

I have had the opportunity to coach her for a few weeks of the season.  But have had to pull back my involvement for work commitments.

I love it that she is playing, and having fun.  It is what it should all be about.

I watched a movie on Easter Saturday with the family.  It was entitled, Son of God.  It was very moving.  The thing that moved me most about the movie was how Jesus was not afraid, or at least did not let on that he was afraid.  He overcame it.  At least not until the end of his mortal life.  He was not afraid.  And he told others not to be afraid.  It was powerful and moving.

On Easter Sunday, Pastor Sabotelli also preached about fear and courage.  His homily was well delivered, and it hit home for me.

This weekend made me feel a little lost, on one hand.  And on the other hand, I am a bit more focused.  I am focused on not being afraid.

Now I need to take actions according to my beliefs and desires.

This day, 24 years ago, had a profound impact on the course of my life.

I hold dear a man I lost that day.  And though, in my mind, I know he was just a man and was flawed, in my heart, I will always know him as a shining beacon of truth and love.  And I will continue to walk towards his light as I try to awkwardly follow his footsteps.

I will remember you always through the eyes of a child.  And as I have grown to be a man, I will always remember the way in which I witnessed my grandmother feel love.  I hope that I can help my wife to be fulfilled and to know that she is loved.  The lessons you taught me – I hope I never lose them.

And I hope that I may one day have such a legacy as yours.

I will see you again.  But not yet.  Not yet.

We just wrapped a two month session of Signature Chumash.  Running this league was a large undertaking.  It has involved the entire family for the last 8 weeks plus.  Every Sunday, the league runs from 10AM until 8PM.  My dad, Sean and I run the league.  We spend the entirety of that time at Goals, refereeing games, working the scoreboard, managing uniforms, and talking with parents.  We also spend a great deal of the time recording videos of the kids on our smart phones.

Signature Chumash has become a family event.  I usually take Noah and Maggie with me in the morning, and they stay all day.  They help their grandfather work the scoreboard.  They help hand out uniforms.  And they get treats from the snack bar.  Throughout the day, they play with friends that come and go for game times.  Eden also helps out a ton when she is there. Marcia arrives later in the day for the afternoon games, and brings the rest of the kids with her.  She then also helps with scoreboards.

Noah, Eden and Liz have been filling in during games where teams are short players.  Eden has even played up against 7th and 8th graders.  I love it that they are gym rats.  And they are really enjoying playing.

This Sunday was the championships.  We made a big deal of the championships.  There was a winner at each age group.  3 of our kids’ teams won the championship, and all 4 of them were in the finals for their respective age groups.  Maggie was so proud of winning her first medal that she wore it for 2 days straight, including all day at school.

Beyond our family, I believe that most of the kids have really enjoyed chumash.  Some of them have told us that this is their favorite sport, not lacrosse, but chumash!  That is very fulfilling.  I believe it is because we keep the instruction (from parents and coaches) to a minimum.  It allows for the kids to be creative and enjoy playing.

I have also spent about 4-5 hours a week putting together a highlight reel for the week.  I also put together a video for the championships.  I have really enjoyed making the videos, and am so glad that my kids have a fun environment in which to play sports.

Thanks to Sean, my dad, and my entire family for making this league so special, week in and week out.

A situation came up in sports a little over a week ago.  My daughter played in a field hockey tournament.  I was not there.  A few of the parents were very vocal during the first game, instructing from the sideline.  They were apparently instructing my daughter as well.  After the game, within earshot of players and parents, one of these parents dressed down the coach about playing time, specifically about the playing time that my daughter received.  In the next game, my daughter played two minutes and five minutes in the following game.  Their team only has 7 or 8 players, so it was very obvious to everyone what had transpired.

I saw my daughter later that day and she was downtrodden.  I could tell that she was not playing lacrosse with the same confidence she had been playing with the previous month.  That night, we discussed the matter after the kids went to bed.  We certainly do not agree with the parental behavior, but decided to give it a few days.  On Friday, I told Marcia I would reach out to the club director.

While I was at work though, I found out that more had transpired during the week than Marcia and I realized.  Apparently, the parent wrote an email to the club director about my daughter.  I have not seen the email, but it has circulated broadly, as other people not associated with the club called Marcia and told her about it.  We asked not to see the email, but were told that it had to do with my daughter, and opinions that she should not be allowed on the team.

We texted the club director, and asked to speak.  Without having to give her any details, she texted back that she was taking care of the situation.  A few hours later, she wrote us a long email that she had dismissed a family from the club, and told us that the parent had written an unforgivable email about our daughter.  I called the club director, because this was actually the first I had heard about the email.  She didn’t call me back.

Early the next morning, there was a field hockey tournament.  And, to Marcia’s surprise, the girl was back on the team.  The club director did not talk to Marcia.  The following day was the holiday party.  At the party, the club director called a team meeting.  Marcia was all alone, and felt that all of the parents ganged up on her.  They were all defending their behavior and the girl who had been kicked off the team (who was again off the team as of the party).  Not one parent apologized for their behavior or for how it affected our 10 year old daughter.

We have principles.  And those principles dictate a safe environment for our children to grow and play sports.  There are many lessons that we want our kids to learn in sports.  Being bullied by adults is not a lesson that is appropriate for a 10 year old.

So, we are in a situation that we need to decide what to do.  We are not yet in agreement.  I think it is appropriate to remove our daughter from the environment where this occurs.  Marcia wants her to stick it out for a few more weeks.  We have not yet decided what to do.  It is further complicated by our daughter, who is not completely aware of all of the details.  She is affected negatively by the environment, but she is also using it as an excuse.