Maggie is playing on a 2nd/3rd grade travel team and the same age in-house team at LTRC as a 1st grader.  In her game on Friday night, she scored 3 goals.  And yesterday, she had 1 or 2 goals, she can’t remember.  Pretty awesome.

I have had the opportunity to coach her for a few weeks of the season.  But have had to pull back my involvement for work commitments.

I love it that she is playing, and having fun.  It is what it should all be about.

I watched a movie on Easter Saturday with the family.  It was entitled, Son of God.  It was very moving.  The thing that moved me most about the movie was how Jesus was not afraid, or at least did not let on that he was afraid.  He overcame it.  At least not until the end of his mortal life.  He was not afraid.  And he told others not to be afraid.  It was powerful and moving.

On Easter Sunday, Pastor Sabotelli also preached about fear and courage.  His homily was well delivered, and it hit home for me.

This weekend made me feel a little lost, on one hand.  And on the other hand, I am a bit more focused.  I am focused on not being afraid.

Now I need to take actions according to my beliefs and desires.

This day, 24 years ago, had a profound impact on the course of my life.

I hold dear a man I lost that day.  And though, in my mind, I know he was just a man and was flawed, in my heart, I will always know him as a shining beacon of truth and love.  And I will continue to walk towards his light as I try to awkwardly follow his footsteps.

I will remember you always through the eyes of a child.  And as I have grown to be a man, I will always remember the way in which I witnessed my grandmother feel love.  I hope that I can help my wife to be fulfilled and to know that she is loved.  The lessons you taught me – I hope I never lose them.

And I hope that I may one day have such a legacy as yours.

I will see you again.  But not yet.  Not yet.

We just wrapped a two month session of Signature Chumash.  Running this league was a large undertaking.  It has involved the entire family for the last 8 weeks plus.  Every Sunday, the league runs from 10AM until 8PM.  My dad, Sean and I run the league.  We spend the entirety of that time at Goals, refereeing games, working the scoreboard, managing uniforms, and talking with parents.  We also spend a great deal of the time recording videos of the kids on our smart phones.

Signature Chumash has become a family event.  I usually take Noah and Maggie with me in the morning, and they stay all day.  They help their grandfather work the scoreboard.  They help hand out uniforms.  And they get treats from the snack bar.  Throughout the day, they play with friends that come and go for game times.  Eden also helps out a ton when she is there. Marcia arrives later in the day for the afternoon games, and brings the rest of the kids with her.  She then also helps with scoreboards.

Noah, Eden and Liz have been filling in during games where teams are short players.  Eden has even played up against 7th and 8th graders.  I love it that they are gym rats.  And they are really enjoying playing.

This Sunday was the championships.  We made a big deal of the championships.  There was a winner at each age group.  3 of our kids’ teams won the championship, and all 4 of them were in the finals for their respective age groups.  Maggie was so proud of winning her first medal that she wore it for 2 days straight, including all day at school.

Beyond our family, I believe that most of the kids have really enjoyed chumash.  Some of them have told us that this is their favorite sport, not lacrosse, but chumash!  That is very fulfilling.  I believe it is because we keep the instruction (from parents and coaches) to a minimum.  It allows for the kids to be creative and enjoy playing.

I have also spent about 4-5 hours a week putting together a highlight reel for the week.  I also put together a video for the championships.  I have really enjoyed making the videos, and am so glad that my kids have a fun environment in which to play sports.

Thanks to Sean, my dad, and my entire family for making this league so special, week in and week out.

A situation came up in sports a little over a week ago.  My daughter played in a field hockey tournament.  I was not there.  A few of the parents were very vocal during the first game, instructing from the sideline.  They were apparently instructing my daughter as well.  After the game, within earshot of players and parents, one of these parents dressed down the coach about playing time, specifically about the playing time that my daughter received.  In the next game, my daughter played two minutes and five minutes in the following game.  Their team only has 7 or 8 players, so it was very obvious to everyone what had transpired.

I saw my daughter later that day and she was downtrodden.  I could tell that she was not playing lacrosse with the same confidence she had been playing with the previous month.  That night, we discussed the matter after the kids went to bed.  We certainly do not agree with the parental behavior, but decided to give it a few days.  On Friday, I told Marcia I would reach out to the club director.

While I was at work though, I found out that more had transpired during the week than Marcia and I realized.  Apparently, the parent wrote an email to the club director about my daughter.  I have not seen the email, but it has circulated broadly, as other people not associated with the club called Marcia and told her about it.  We asked not to see the email, but were told that it had to do with my daughter, and opinions that she should not be allowed on the team.

We texted the club director, and asked to speak.  Without having to give her any details, she texted back that she was taking care of the situation.  A few hours later, she wrote us a long email that she had dismissed a family from the club, and told us that the parent had written an unforgivable email about our daughter.  I called the club director, because this was actually the first I had heard about the email.  She didn’t call me back.

Early the next morning, there was a field hockey tournament.  And, to Marcia’s surprise, the girl was back on the team.  The club director did not talk to Marcia.  The following day was the holiday party.  At the party, the club director called a team meeting.  Marcia was all alone, and felt that all of the parents ganged up on her.  They were all defending their behavior and the girl who had been kicked off the team (who was again off the team as of the party).  Not one parent apologized for their behavior or for how it affected our 10 year old daughter.

We have principles.  And those principles dictate a safe environment for our children to grow and play sports.  There are many lessons that we want our kids to learn in sports.  Being bullied by adults is not a lesson that is appropriate for a 10 year old.

So, we are in a situation that we need to decide what to do.  We are not yet in agreement.  I think it is appropriate to remove our daughter from the environment where this occurs.  Marcia wants her to stick it out for a few more weeks.  We have not yet decided what to do.  It is further complicated by our daughter, who is not completely aware of all of the details.  She is affected negatively by the environment, but she is also using it as an excuse.

I just watched a Ted Talk about the relationship between gratitude and happiness.

It is here: http://www.ted.com/talks/david_steindl_rast_want_to_be_happy_be_grateful?language=en

In this talk, the monk tells us to Stop, Look, and Go.

This is a good reminder to me to be grateful for all of the things that I have.  And not focus on the things that I don’t have.  I have gotten caught up many times in the things that I don’t have.

So, I will focus on being grateful for the given moment, and the opportunities that it contains.  So, this morning I have the gift of waking up early and having some time to my thoughts.

Today, I get to run a race with my two daughters and my son.  It is going to be cold.  It is going to be muddy.  And it can be fun.  How often do you get to run a race in these conditions?  Snow and rain?!  I am going to go out and do my best and support my kids.  And I am going to find joy in every moment, even when my body tells me that it is hurting, or when my kids are telling me that they want to stop.  And then I will have the opportunity to spend the day with my family, with my parents, my two brothers, and our respective families.

Today, I will practice gratitude.  I will be grateful for the beautiful wife that I have, who supports me in all that I do, who raises six children and who makes me want to be a better man.  I will be grateful for how determined Elizabeth is.  I will be grateful for how deeply Eden experiences her emotions.  I will be grateful for how much Noah looks up to his father and enjoys experiencing life with me.  I will be grateful for Maggie, her beautiful smile, and how she wants to spend time with me.  I will be grateful for how loving and sweet Luke is.  I will be grateful for how expressive and happy Jack is, and how much he makes me laugh.  I am most grateful that we are all healthy and get to spend today together.

A grateful world is a happy world.

I hope to contribute in positive ways to a happy world.  So, I will be grateful.

Thank you, David Steindl-Rast.

It is raining. It is almost snowing, spitting white flakes amidst the raindrops. We had our dog, Taylor, put to sleep yesterday, and it is really tearing at Marcia. She is playing sad songs all day.

I know that she blames me for Taylor. She was not ready to say, “Goodbye”. I was not either. I loved Taylor. It is fine with me though that Marcia blames me. I can take it. She thinks I am cold and ruthless, which is not the case, but I feel I must not question our judgment.

It is a cold and rainy day. Pretty miserable and depressing.

Tomorrow morning, we are registered to run a race at the high school. The Turkey Trot. Our annual Thanksgiving tradition. I am honestly not looking forward to it as I have in the past. The kids are excited to compete in the race. Liz is ready to just go out there and do it. She is thinking about putting salt on her shoes, since there will be snow on the ground. Noah is good to go, as he and Maggie both did very well in the Gobble Gobble Go run at their school yesterday. Maggie wants to run her first 5K. I am not sure who will run with her though …

This morning, I got home from a sleep study last night at Johns Hopkins. I bought 2 dozen doughnuts on the way home. Jack has been at them all morning. He is now raging on sugar.

I wonder if we can institute a new family tradition tomorrow that Marcia has been talking about for awhile – the annual Kennedy lacrosse game. I am certain there is no way that we can get it off the ground…

Today, we said goodbye to Taylor. It was not an easy decision to make. She has been suffering for some time and her quality of life was poor. The veterinarian told us that she would not get better, only worse. We made the decision to end her life today.

It was very sad for me and for Marcia. Luke and Jack were with us. Luke had tears in his eyes and said goodbye to Taylor. He gave her a kiss and he petted her. He understood. Jack said, “She is dead.” I don’t know how much he understands.

I am leaving work early to break the news to the older kids. They have done a good job of taking care of Taylor and they loved her. And so have we.

Rest in peace, Taylor. We have had several good years together. You will be with Molly soon.

Dear Noah

I enjoyed the other day going to the library with you when you had the day off from school.  I liked your independence is getting to the library.  I liked how you took your time to find two books that you wanted.  I liked how you read the books quickly.

You got two Ninja Meerkat books.

And you have been reading other books lately for enjoyment.

Your grades in school lately have not been great.  And I know that you have been frustrated.  You have told me that the teachers aren’t teaching you.  And that you are being graded on stuff that you haven’t yet learned.  I understand this.

But I also think you need to work harder.  I think you will become a better reader and writer if you keep reading for enjoyment.  And I think you will continue to advance in math and science if you keep doing practice problems.

At the dinner table tonight, you were so proud of yourself to tell me that Liz taught you division!  And I gave you some simple division problems and you nailed them.  And you made up some multiplication problems and got them right, too.

I am less concerned with the grades as I am with you learning the concepts.  And with you having the right attitude and enthusiasm for learning.  I was very sad last week seeing you cry as I went over your graded papers with you.  I am not disappointed in you.  I love you.

Keep working hard.  And continue to be enthusiastic about learning.  I am here for you … always

Love
Dad

I had oral surgery this morning.  My jaw bone was drilled into and two implants were screwed into the bone.  It has made for an uncomfortable day.  And a few more ahead.  But it has allowed me also some time to stop and think.  And I get a chance to think about some of the things that I am grateful for.

I have a beautiful wife.  I was thinking yesterday that I hope my wife finds something that she wants to pursue and she takes ownership and enjoys it.  I was worried that she was not feeling empowered.  When I got home yesterday, I walked in to find that Marcia had started painting the front room.  Awesome.  It made me really happy.  I am not exactly sure why.  I think because I felt like Marcia felt comfortable just doing it.  And I felt great for her.  And I was really appreciative that she had started painting the room.

Marcia wanted to host a dinner at our house next week.  The house is in complete disarray.  But she wanted to host it.  I am so glad that she has something that she wants for herself, and she is doing it.  I love her.

I have kids who are rather conscientious.  They are hard-working.  They are rather athletic.  In some cases, very athletic.  They are kind and sensitive.  They are healthy.  They are smart.  They are developing work ethic.  They are supportive of each other.  They say, “Thank you.”  They respect adults.  I believe they are very good looking kids.

I am grateful that there are a lot of things that we are able to provide for our kids.  We are able to put our oldest girls in private school.  We live in a decent neighborhood.  Our kids all play sports.  Some of our girls are in dance classes.  We go on a vacation each year to the beach.  Last year, we were able to go skiing as a family.

I have two loving parents.  They will do anything for us.  And they do a ton for us and our kids.  I am grateful that we live right down the street from them.

I am grateful that we have taught our kids to say, “Thank you.”  They thank their coaches.  They thank their teachers.

I am grateful that all of our kids have different personalities.  They have different strengths.  They have different challenges.  They have different natural abilities.  They have different desires.

I am grateful for all of the gifts I have had in my life.  I was smart and talented.  And I had rich life experiences along the way.