Noah turned 10 yesterday.  I jumped on him in the morning and gave him a big bear hug and woke him up.  I knew that I would be at work all day and possibly home late, so I wanted to let him know how much I loved him before I shoved off for work.

I was able to take off at night from the U and we were able to have a nice dinner.  Marcia cooked lasagna (in the microwave as the oven is broken).  Lasagna by request of the birthday boy.  He also got some video games and Legos from us and bike equipment from his grandparents.

After dinner and cake, we went up to his room and played video games.  I passed out on the kids’ beds.

It was a great day.

I am very proud of Noah.  He does not complain much.  He also doesn’t ask for much.  He very much goes with the flow.  In sports, I think he is a terror, a force to be reckoned with on the field.  In soccer, he is lightning quick and can go all day long.  In lacrosse, he is as scrappy as can be, getting every loose ball.  And he has stickwork!

I talked to him the other day about his hair.  I don’t like that he hides his face.  I think it is because he is self-conscious.  He got a little teary-eyed and told me he wants to hide his ears because they are too big.  I told him they aren’t.  And who cares if they were.  Tonight at dinner, he said he would get a hair cut.  Short again, like it used to be.

We also remembered briefly at dinner the story of his birth.  Can’t believe that was 10 years ago.

You only switch to double-digits once.  Happy 10th Birthday, Noah.

We opened the U over the last few weeks.  We are running Signature Chumash, Soft-Hands, and personal training.  We are bringing in Jeremy Rualo to run faceoff clinics.  And Amy Appelt to run Team Tewaaraton.  A lot of it is very exciting.  My kids are enjoying themselves.  And I am enjoying training and running Chumash.

Working at the U is exhausting though.  It is taking all of my energy.  More challenging though is dealing with the personalities.

Screens, screens, everywhere screens.  Blocking out the scenery, eating all my beans.

We are a family sitting on couches, glued to screens.  Fighting over chargers.  We just bought ourselves a new TV, 50″, and are putting the old TV in Noah’s room.  Noah probably spends to most time on screens.  We will see how this plays out.

It is Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving.  We are sitting lazily in bed.  And Maggie gets a hold of the computer, and shows me her creativity.  In just minutes, she creates these drawings of apples and pies.  It is pretty cool.  She did it with Jack.  He wanted to help with the stars.  So, she let him.  And then she drew him on the floor.  He ate the gross pie on the left and got sick.

I spoke on Tuesday with the Maryvale lacrosse coach.  She had come out to watch Liz’s team on Sunday morning.  She paid compliments to the team, and to 4 girls in particular.  Liz was among those 4 girls.  She said that these 4 girls would have an immediate impact on lacrosse at Maryvale.  She said she meant that they would play varsity as freshmen or at least as sophomores.  We have not heard this kind of commitment or interest from a coach before, and Liz is flattered.  For such a humble kid that works hard and does things the right way, I am glad that she is having this kind of opportunity fall in front of her.

This year, Noah, Elizabeth and I ran the Turkey Trot together.  Maggie had some interest, and the youngest two boys were interested, but we decided just the three of us would do it.  Terribly out of shape, I ran with Noah.  What a difference a year has made.

I struggled on a tough course.  Noah did not complain once.  Nor did he need to.  He set the pace, and I tried to keep up.  When I stopped to walk, he would realize I wasn’t there and stop and look back.  He motivated me to keep going.  He finished 4th among his age group, 10 and under.  He did awesome.

Liz … cut over 2 minutes off of her time from the previous year.  She ran with the top runners, and finished 6 overall female!  It was a darn impressive run for a 13 year old.  She was less than 2 minutes off of the top female finisher, who won $500.  Liz won a $50 gift certificate, as she finished 1st amongst 11-19 year olds.

When Sandra announced the winners, she said that she was hoping to get Liz to the high school.  The Roland Park coach was also there, and was talking to Liz about trying to get her to RPCS.  It is great to see Liz getting positive attention for her efforts.

When they announced the top 3 finishers, Liz noticed that the 2nd place girl was wearing a shirt from a college running competition.  She said, “Mom, did you see her shirt!”  It was maybe the first time the thought had crossed Liz’s mind about running in college.

Everyone in our house now wears underwear!

Jack got underwear today.  2T/3T with super heroes on them.  He is so cute and he hasn’t had an accident in his diaper for a few weeks.  We think he is ready.

Tomorrow, Luke starts pre-school.  He is excited.

His godparents, Matt and Sande, took him to the pool yesterday.  He felt so special.  He is special.

Sports were canceled tonight and we had a nice evening as a family.  It was good.

I hope tomorrow goes well for Luke.  I won’t be there as I will be having surgery while he is in school.  Big day tomorrow for the Kennedy clan

That is right.  I have cataracts.  Both eyes.  Left eye much worse than the right.  I have surgery tomorrow.  They say it is no big deal, but I am nervous.  I am scared.  My dad will drop me off at 9AM and marcia will pick me up at 1PM.  In between, they will put me in twilight and cut into my eye.  They will remove my lens and replace it with an artificial one.  The cool part is that I will no longer have to wear contact lens in my left eye … ever again.  I hope that all goes well.

After receiving the news on Monday from JH, I came home exhausted and passed out in the bed for several hours.  When I awoke, I told myself that I need to prepare for a fight.  I need to fight my body, and whatever may be attacking it.  And I need to be ready.  I need to be ready mentally.  I need to be strong mentally.  I will need mind over matter.  And so I need to be strong physically to give me the confidence to be strong mentally.

I went running on Monday after waking from my nap.  And I went running this morning.  Neither run was easy.  I ran less than a mile.  Familiar routes, but sluggish.  I fell asleep at work yesterday, and am sleepy already this morning.  No matter what the fight ends up being, it will not be easy.  I am going to struggle.

I woke up yesterday and got on the internet.  I decided to google survival rate for lung cancer.  I had looked up GGNs the day before and was scared by the percentage that are malignant.  It provided me no comfort.  But I had not looked up what the outcome might be if they were malignant.  The night before, I told the kids I was a fighter.

I found an article with some statistics.  65% of patients are alive 6 months after diagnosis.  40% are alive after a year.  4% are alive after 5 years.  I wept.  Like I never had before.  I wept.

Now I am scared.  So scared.  This may be my last summer.  My kids’ last summer with their father.  And I couldn’t get a dr appt for a month!  I cannot waste any more time.  I am scared and getting desperate.

I have asked for help, and I have gotten it.  My friend, a lifesaver, Deb Baker, has helped me in many ways the last few days.  And she has helped me to get an appt with the pulmonologists next week!  Hallelujah.

I will not need to wait as long to know if I have challenges ahead of me.