Eden won the no-look contest for Soft-Hands.
Eden caught 87 no-looks without a drop!
Liz came in second with 75! These are just crazy good numbers. I’m so proud of these girls. In this case, I’m especially proud of Eden. She had a positive attitude and did great. And not only beat her older sister, but everyone else in the contest. And there were some really competitive kids in this!
I took Liz, Eden, Noah and Luke roller skating on Monday. Maggie was at a birthday party at Pump It Up.
First time skating for Noah and Luke. We skated for 2 hours. Luke held onto a beginner bar, and Liz and I took turns pushing him around the rink. For it being Noah’s first time, he did great. He started out with a beginner bar, then was able to go around by himself, and then I held his hand and he let me drag him around the rink really fast. He fell a lot at first, but never complained and just kept trying at it. In fact, all of the kids enjoyed it and got better.
And Luke got very comfortable in the rink. And he was running around the place and having a great time after he took his skates off.
We all had a great time. I love little trips like this with the kids. A great afternoon!
Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree, what a glorious family outing to pick thee!
After work last night, we went on a mission to find our Christmas tree. We normally go to my friend, Joe’s, lot in Howard County, but when we drove by, he wasn’t there and so we went to the lot down the street. Lots of trees to choose from. The girls could not agree on a tree, so Marcia and I made the executive decision and chose the tree for them.
It was a fun little trip. Everybody was dressed up in their winter gear and we were on a family mission. Luke did not like stepping through the mud in his rain boots, but he looked cute in his panda hat. Maggie was wearing a cute scarf and having a ball. Eden and Elizabeth could not agree on a tree. Noah went with me to find the man to get the tree for us. Once we found the man, Noah and Elizabeth led him to our tree to get it for us. He trimmed it up, bagged it and threw it on the roof.
When we got home, the girls and I worked together to clean the room for it, and bring it into the house. We put it in the stand and straightened it. Bigger than we thought, we had to cut the top off of it. Then, we sat down to a nice family dinner at our dining room table. After dinner and baths, we sat in the living room (Eden had rearranged all of the couches to make it very comfy) and Noah read to us, The Night Before Christmas.
Today, it is snowing and we are all off of school and work. A wonderful family snow day and we can decorate the tree today too. We are lucky to have the wonderful six that we do, and I am grateful for every day with my family.
Balance – I preach it. I understand its value and importance. And I design my club team’s schedule to help families achieve this. But do I actually live in balance? Work, sports, family… school, sports, friends. Are these in proper perspective, and do I have time for each of them? At this moment in my life, I have tipped the scales to one extreme, and it is time to rebalance. How am I working to achieve this balance again? First, I need to look at what I’ve got “on my plate.”
At work, I am an IT director for a major research university. I have roughly a dozen people reporting directly to me, and a large organization that depends on me. Our group is integral to all that happens in our organization. I have a family with a beautiful wife and 6 kids, all that are very active in sports and every type of activity. I coach several sports teams, lacrosse and field hockey. I run a girls’ lacrosse club with several teams. I run a lacrosse league with over 50 teams, and a ton of egos. I run a few tournaments, two of which I am trying to get off of the ground in the next few months. And I train kids in lacrosse a few nights of the week.
The scales have clearly tipped towards my commitments to lacrosse and coaching. This is no surprise. I find joy and fulfillment in my life by teaching the game of lacrosse. I do feel that I have the ability to make a difference in kids’ lives and provide them an environment to grow in sports. And I work very hard to provide that for my kids, and for the kids in the club. In order to be successful, I dedicate lots of time to the task.
And my family, and my family members’ balance, suffers. I spend less time with each of my kids doing random things like raking leaves, doing workbooks, teaching them to ride bikes, or playing catch in the backyard.
I have three strategies that I have been employing to bring my life back into balance.
Compartmentalize
In his book, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, Dale Carnegie talks about living in “Day-Tight Compartments.” He is inspired by a story of an ocean liner. In this ocean liner, there are several large bulkheads, huge compartments that are filled with water and water released at the captain’s command. Carnegie decided to live each day as a compartment. Once it was over, he shut it off. Went on to the next compartment.
I have been working on compartmentalization. For a few years, I was very good at putting my phone down at home, and rarely checking my email. When I started reporting to a Dean, I needed to always be “on”. I am starting though to get better at not answering email at night. I get up early in the morning before waking the kids, and catch up on work and lacrosse emails.
Delegate
I take on way too much. And I want things to be done well. So, I take them all on myself. I do all of the work to run the spring lacrosse league. I have a dozen direct reports at work. I take care of all of the administrative tasks for the lacrosse club.
I need a better support system, and I need others to share the load. Thankfully, all of my individual work has paid off. I am fortunate to be involved with some wonderful and giving people. And very dedicated to share in the same mission as me. I have begun to delegate some aspects of the lacrosse club. And we are working on bringing in more coaches into the fold. I am worrying less. And we are becoming a stronger organization.
Infusion
Infusing the kids and Marcia into my life, where I am. I have started taking Noah to training with me on Tuesday nights. He loves it. And we talk the whole ride home. I take Elizabeth to school every morning. Twice, I have picked her up from school and brought her back to my office. I know I have a busy schedule, and there is only so much of that which I can control, but I can start to include everyone else in the family in my busy schedule.
Conclusion
I will regain my balance. I have a balanced mind and balanced spirit. I believe in all that I do. I trust my instincts and give thought to my actions.
Noah played in the CYSL championship game yesterday and was the goalie. They won the game 1-0. The semis and quarterfinals were equally as close, one game going into double overtime.
Noah made critical saves in each of the games. And he didn’t lose concentration or confidence. Before the championship, he practiced his punting for two days. And it showed up in his play as he cleared the ball effectively several times.
I am glad that he has the “head” for the goal. It is such a challenging position and takes a certain mentality. He is showing signs that he has that mentality.
Marcia was a nervous wreck watching him. We are both really proud.
Dave
I miss the family. I am in China for a week. Cell phone doesn’t get any service anywhere. Text messaging costs a bundle. And Chinese government firewalls all social networking sites, like Facebook, Twitter, WordPress, etc.
But, we have found that Face Time works, between my laptop and Elizabeth’s cell phone. The reception is not always the best (at least not in Hangzhou), but it is so wonderful to see the kids each day. This is the longest I have been away from the family since I was at Duke in 2009. At that time, I spent two weeks straight away from the family once when I had a conference in between two weeks at Duke, and I also was writing a chapter for a book.
This is the first time I think I have traveled away from the family since Jack was born.
Face Time – I can’t believe we’ve never used this before! I guess cuz we’re not a mac family. Then again, we never really like Skype either
Interesting day with several communication challenges:
1 – I am here in Hangzhou, China. Not many folks here speak English. I inquired of the housekeeper how long laundry takes. I wasn’t sure I wanted the service. She didn’t understand, so she left the room. 3 minutes later, someone called, who spoke a tiny bit of English. Told me there was a laundry bag in the room. I said I would call tomorrow if I wanted laundry picked up. 2 minutes later, another girl came to the room who did not speak English. She started picking up my clothes and putting them in a bag. I told her, “No, I don’t want laundry picked up today.” She called her manager, who spoke some English, and I told him that I didn’t want laundry picked up. I handed her the phone and the manager talked with her. THen, she picked up all my dirty clothes and shoved them in a bag and left. I don’t know what happened, but I have a feeling it is going to cost me close to $20.
2 – I needed an iron to press my shirts. Went to the front desk. Guy spoke no English. So I put my shirt on the table and started pressing it. He said, “Go to room”, so I went to the room. In about 5 minutes, an iron and ironing board arrived. Yay!
3 – All of the US Delegates went to West Lake by bus. Many of these are CIOs of major US universities and high ups in US tech companies. We all hopped off of the bus and went different directions with no specified time to return or where to return. Of course, 3 of the delegates were late back to the bus (I was one of them)
1 did though learn to communicate tonight with a street vendor. I haggled with her over jewelry through a calculator!! I ended up getting a pearl necklace and 3 bracelets for $15.
I woke before the sun. I was up at 5am. Time to get some exercise and explore the city. I had been so tired last night that I had just gone to bed. I didn’t realize that there was a huge open plaza right outside my window. There must have been some party there last night, because old women were out there sweeping the streets before 6.
Without GPS or a guide, I started running. Went about a mile in the wrong direction. Oops. But ran into a hotel that must have been 50 stories or more. Turned around and headed towards the Huangpo River where I was last night.
Along the way, I saw all kinds of people. Shanghai is an industrious city. The people are full of energy and life. And there is also traditional Chinese culture infused with Western culture. Several old women and men practicing tai chi in the early hours of the morning. The river shoreline was busy with people. Lots of them flying kites. Mostly older people. Tai chi all over the place. A man tried to sell me artwork. Another man reached down into the dirty river with a net on a pole over 20 ft long and grabbed a big fish right out of the water. Old women walking the streets clapping. A man practicing tai chi with a huge sword. One young man in a yellow shirt jumping around and swinging his arms in different motions; I couldn’t tell what he was doing or trying to do.
Streets move pretty fast. People on motorbikes or bicycles, or old bikes carrying big loads behind them. Cars fly by. THey honk at pedestrians in the street. There are big signs down the streets. People hanging their clothes to dry out of their windows.
There is a definite mixture of classes here. And I perceive a difference between traditional Chinese culture and those that have been heavily influenced by Western cultures.
It was an interesting morning in Shanghai. I am excited for the rest of my day.
Shanghai sunrise
Man fishing the Huangpo River
Shanghai morning
Central Hotel Shanghai
Clapper
Exercise on the streets of Shanghai
Yep. That’s a sword in his hand
Shanghai skyline at sunrise
Shanghai street sweeper
What does it mean to be great? Does it mean to be famous? Does it mean to be rich? Does it mean to be accomplished in business, or in sports, or in politics, or in popular culture?
I don’t know the answer. I just watched the movie, Gatsby. It has been several years since I read the novel, The Great Gatsby. So, I don’t know if the movie is at all a reflection on the story or the message that the story delivered.
Gatsby was infamous. He was filthy rich. He was mysterious. He was larger than life. And he was charismatic.
In the end, he was murdered. He tried to protect the woman that he loved, and he paid the ultimate price for it. But she did not even mourn his death. She was so interested in self-preservation and in material wealth that she and her husband moved on. All they cared about was their wealth and their lifestyle. And no one came to Gatsby’s funeral. No one cared that he was killed.
Was Gatsby great? I think he probably was. He saw what he wanted, and set his whole life in motion to attain wealth, to impress the girl, and to give her the lifestyle, the fame and the fortune that she wanted. He gave this mission his passion, his soul, and his total effort. And he created something great. Or did he?
The greatest man I have known in my lifetime has passed. I only knew him for what seems now to be only fleeting moments. I did not see him in his glory, but I saw him after. And he was full of love. His whole world revolved around love. He was not perfect. But he loved his wife. He loved his children and his grandchildren. And he loved his mission in life. He inspired young men to be great. To build character. To know God. And to be men for others.
He lived his whole life without a great deal of material wealth. But, when he died, hundreds came to mourn my grandfather’s death. They told me stories. They told me what he meant to them. They told me how he inspired them.
Was my grandfather great? Yes, he was. Why was he great? I don’t know, but here is what I surmise. He believed in his job, his purpose. And he lived it and worked at it with as much effort and enthusiasm as he could. And he made others feel great about themselves. And confident. And taught them to believe in themselves. He selflessly gave of himself and made his mark on the world.
He may not be remembered for long. But he will always be remembered by me. He will always be my role model. And he is my inspiration and helps me find my purpose. He will help me make my mark, even if my whole life’s work is only remembered by my children, that will be enough for me to be proud of what I have accomplished and find peace of mind. And maybe one day they will consider me great.
On our last trip to Walt Disney World, we visited Reflections of China. We stood in the middle of a very large circular room, and were surrounded by images and movies of China, its history, its culture, its mystery, and its breathtaking beauty. I was enraptured. I was inspired.
I told Marcia that I wanted to go there. I wanted to see the Great Wall. I wanted to visit the Forbidden City. I wanted to experience the natural wonders of the Chinese landscape. The mighty Yangtzee River. Untold mountains of the ancient world. And manmade structures that were built in forgotten times … yet times that were not forgotten, but richly preserved in the heritage of the Chinese people.
I wanted to connect. I wanted to find a deep spiritual connection to the Earth, to nature, and to this ancient culture. I want to respect it, to understand it, and to let it wash over me.
I have been given my shot. I am on a plane traveling to Shanghai. From there, I will head to Hangzhou (known as Heaven on Earth) and finally to Beijing.
I am here for only a week. Will I be able to take it in? Will I be able to find what I am looking for?
I hope to be reminded how small I am. I hope to find that my contributions to the world are as of yet not significant. I hope to be inspired by what ancient men have built. And I hope to find myself there in that place. To find what I can be. What I can accomplish. That I can love my life and drink every last drop of this earth. And not be afraid.
I want to find my inspiration. I want to take it all in. I want to take it in as a wanderer. Leaving no path behind, but respecting the paths that have withstood centuries, and knowing that my hands touch the same stones that shaped empires.
Never believe you’re better than anybody else, but remember that you’re just as good as everybody else — John Wooden
DO I ASK TOO MUCH? I don’t believe you can ever ask too much.
Six With Sticks 