Balance – I preach it. I understand its value and importance. And I design my club team’s schedule to help families achieve this. But do I actually live in balance? Work, sports, family… school, sports, friends. Are these in proper perspective, and do I have time for each of them? At this moment in my life, I have tipped the scales to one extreme, and it is time to rebalance. How am I working to achieve this balance again? First, I need to look at what I’ve got “on my plate.”
At work, I am an IT director for a major research university. I have roughly a dozen people reporting directly to me, and a large organization that depends on me. Our group is integral to all that happens in our organization. I have a family with a beautiful wife and 6 kids, all that are very active in sports and every type of activity. I coach several sports teams, lacrosse and field hockey. I run a girls’ lacrosse club with several teams. I run a lacrosse league with over 50 teams, and a ton of egos. I run a few tournaments, two of which I am trying to get off of the ground in the next few months. And I train kids in lacrosse a few nights of the week.
The scales have clearly tipped towards my commitments to lacrosse and coaching. This is no surprise. I find joy and fulfillment in my life by teaching the game of lacrosse. I do feel that I have the ability to make a difference in kids’ lives and provide them an environment to grow in sports. And I work very hard to provide that for my kids, and for the kids in the club. In order to be successful, I dedicate lots of time to the task.
And my family, and my family members’ balance, suffers. I spend less time with each of my kids doing random things like raking leaves, doing workbooks, teaching them to ride bikes, or playing catch in the backyard.
I have three strategies that I have been employing to bring my life back into balance.
Compartmentalize
In his book, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, Dale Carnegie talks about living in “Day-Tight Compartments.” He is inspired by a story of an ocean liner. In this ocean liner, there are several large bulkheads, huge compartments that are filled with water and water released at the captain’s command. Carnegie decided to live each day as a compartment. Once it was over, he shut it off. Went on to the next compartment.
I have been working on compartmentalization. For a few years, I was very good at putting my phone down at home, and rarely checking my email. When I started reporting to a Dean, I needed to always be “on”. I am starting though to get better at not answering email at night. I get up early in the morning before waking the kids, and catch up on work and lacrosse emails.
Delegate
I take on way too much. And I want things to be done well. So, I take them all on myself. I do all of the work to run the spring lacrosse league. I have a dozen direct reports at work. I take care of all of the administrative tasks for the lacrosse club.
I need a better support system, and I need others to share the load. Thankfully, all of my individual work has paid off. I am fortunate to be involved with some wonderful and giving people. And very dedicated to share in the same mission as me. I have begun to delegate some aspects of the lacrosse club. And we are working on bringing in more coaches into the fold. I am worrying less. And we are becoming a stronger organization.
Infusion
Infusing the kids and Marcia into my life, where I am. I have started taking Noah to training with me on Tuesday nights. He loves it. And we talk the whole ride home. I take Elizabeth to school every morning. Twice, I have picked her up from school and brought her back to my office. I know I have a busy schedule, and there is only so much of that which I can control, but I can start to include everyone else in the family in my busy schedule.
Conclusion
I will regain my balance. I have a balanced mind and balanced spirit. I believe in all that I do. I trust my instincts and give thought to my actions.
Six With Sticks 