Liz earned a spot on the Varsity lacrosse squad at Maryvale yesterday.  I am very proud of her.  She worked very hard to prepare herself for the tryouts, and worked very hard in the tryout to prove her talents.

We went out last night as a family and celebrated at Pizzeria Unos.

Maggie and I played another round of Shogun.  Lots of fun.  Maggie beat 4 of my armies.  I beat 4 of her armies.  The battle for feudal Japan ended in forfeit — I could not stay awake.  Great fun with my littlest sweetheart.

I brought Shogun from my parents basement. Box had not been touched in well over 20 years probably 25. It was my favorite game though for a while in middle school.

We opened the box. Nearly pristine condition. It reminds me just how well I took care of my things growing up.  I couldn’t remember how to play.

We opened the directions book. 30 pages long!  Holy cow.  Maggie and Liz were patient. It probably took 2 hours to read the rules.  Eventually, we made our first moves. Liz assassinated one of my daimyos and Maggie defeated a bunch of armies to acquire the most land.

I had fun playing a complicated game with the girls. I hope they had as much fun as me. We cleaned up around 1am and called it a night. I slept well

Life is getting more and more chaotic.  It is 3 in the morning.  It has been awhile since I was unable to sleep.  This whole past day though was nothing short of chaotic.

I started in the morning hopeful.  I had a big work meeting lined up that I have been preparing for, in which I was asking for a large sum of money to fund a project that the library was being tasked to.  The meeting went well, although not without some expected hiccups.  Still needs a lot of work to get the project funded though.  I recapped the meeting for my boss and then traveled across the city to my other office in Mt. Washington.

Eating lunch on the way, I tried to catch up with Marcia on the phone but couldn’t get through.  She would later try to meet me for a meeting at Liz’s school.

I got to Mt. Washington, and had a meeting with the guy that replaced me in my previous job.  We got along well, which made me happy.  I am hopeful that this guy can do a good job.  I am of course always skeptical.  But it seemed a sincere meeting, and he took lots of notes.

I ran from that meeting to get to Maryvale.  Walking out the door, I ran into Tom Kenney and told him about my dad.  Okay, now really running late, I had to call Maryvale on the way and let them know I was late.

We met with the President of the school.  She had really good things to say about Liz.  She knew my dad.  I told her about the people coming after us, and how much trouble it is causing our family.  I told her that I declared bankruptcy yesterday.  She brought up very matter-of-factly if we should consider public school for Liz for next year.  She will look into emergency funds for this year for Liz.  And will look to provide a little more for next year.  This is more than I thought we would get from the meeting.

Hurried back to the office.  Had more work to do, and wanted to get some of it accomplished before day’s end.  When I arrived, I learned that one of my colleagues met with a few of my staff and it did not go so well.  I then met with her, and she was rather difficult to deal with.  Really pissed me off.  I went back to my desk and finished up the day, with a few pieces of busy work.  But this distracted me.  I have a big presentation to do tomorrow for a big advisory council for my library, and I am very concerned about it.  I am on the agenda, and I am afraid that the agenda will be controversial.

On the ride home, I talked with one of my employees to learn what happened in the earlier meeting, and he told me that he was very discouraged.  I hung up the phone when walking in the door, and there was a lot of yelling.  It didn’t really stop.  Yelling at the kids about the mess.  Yelling at Noah about the dogs.  Fighting about me and my clothes, and having lost all my suits, as I don’t have one for tomorrow.  After Maggie washed the kids, and Marcia dried them, I read the boys books before bed.  I fell asleep around 10 after reading a few books.

By 10:30, Marcia came in the room and woke me up by throwing her phone at me and telling me to pay a bill, that the internet had been shut off.  Why hadn’t I paid it?  Out of sorts and without my glasses, I struggled to get online as I have about 4 freaking Verizon accounts, and Marcia had no idea what our account number is, since all of the bills have been now put into her email address.  I was cussing and not pleasant to be around.  I eventually got on and paid the entire bill, not knowing the shutoff amount.  Turns out the internet was never shut off, we just needed to restart the router.

Damage down though.  Very tense.  I laid awake mind racing.  Haven’t slept yet.  I don’t want to go to work tomorrow.  I have been working hard lately.  I have new employees and have exciting projects on the horizon.  And it could have all gotten fucked up today by a colleague who was out of control.

My future is not stable.  I do not know how I am going to provide for my family.  How can I sustain it?  There is a lot happening every day.  And it is overwhelming.  I have trouble keeping it simple.  It has to remain simple.  Our life needs to be simplified if we are going to be happy.  And it has to be simple to provide stability for our children.  Which I think is so important.

I have no solace.  It is rarely safe at home.  Lacrosse is a nightmare.  Go online and learn about all the shit going on politically.  And the work environment is becoming hostile.

Congrats to Eden.  She was named to the Reach U14 NIT team.  Great job, Eden.  I am really proud of her.  She does her own thing with field hockey.  Although Marcia and I have coached her in Catonsville, we put a lot less pressure on her than we did with Elizabeth.  Maybe we are learning, I don’t know.

I just enjoy watching her.  Marcia usually watches field hockey, but I watched her play an indoor game a few weeks ago when she was pulled up to the U16 age group for a game or two.  She scored a goal.  I was cheering for her.  I did not care if she got embarrassed.  I wanted her to hear how genuinely happy I was to watch her play.

Marcia got the email the other night from Eden’s coach that Eden made the team.  And then she called her down and we told her.  Marcia read off the names of the girls on the team, and after about 4 girls, she said, “Mom, they put me on the top team!”  She was proud but humble.  She listened as Marcia read off all of the girls’ names on the team.  She immediately asked about one of her friends whose name she did not hear.  She was sad to learn that she didn’t make a team.

Eden said that she is really good at defense, and that her coach is going to probably play her at defense.  She sounded really excited.  Last week was probably the first time that Mimi has actually come and watched Eden play in about a year.

Walking over the streets of Baltimore for my next meeting. Big meeting. Big ask. So far, the biggest of my career.

Busy day in Bmore looks like.  Life moves quickly beneath my feet.  I am hoping for some success.  Wish me luck.