Following a post I wrote a few weeks ago, I am writing the lessons that I would like for my future child to learn.  This is an exercise from a book I am reading, Changing the Game.  This list is not perfect, but here are some of the lessons that I wrote down as part of my exercise:

Struggle – I would like for my child to struggle.  And to overcome the struggle in sports, where the stakes are not nearly as high as in other aspects of life.  I do not want everything to come easy to my child.  He will learn from overcoming struggles and failures, and keep moving forward.  I want to prepare my child for the road, not prepare the road for my child.

Hard work pays off – I would like for my child to learn that the harder she works to prepare for something, the more “luck” she will have.  I put luck in quotes, because it is not luck.  She will put herself in position to have more opportunities for success.

No limit to what you can achieve – I would like for my child to learn that he can always push himself harder.  He can always get better.  I do not want him to settle in life.  I want him to keep attempting to attain something higher.

Lead – I would like for my child to learn to lead.  I would like for her to believe in herself and lead by example.  I would like for her to learn to pick others up when they are doubting themselves or “the team.”  My child will be faced with adversity in life.  That adversity may deal with relationships, with family, or with the workplace.  I would like for my child to be equipped to lead her family (or her coworkers or her employees) through hard times.

Humility – I would like for my child to learn to be humble.  I would like for my child to learn to handle individual success with humility.  I would like for them to find success and learn how not to brag and not to show off.  I would like for them to learn to share their individual success with others.

Teamwork – I would like for my child to learn to be part of a team.  I would like for him to have team goals.  I would like him to work together with others to achieve something.  I would like for my child to learn that you can accomplish more with others than you can on your own.

Independent thinking – I would like for my child to develop into an independent thinker.  I would like for him to learn to take ownership of his actions.  And for him to understand that he is responsible for his actions.  He should feel the pressure and gravity of the situation and understand that the outcomes depend on his actions.  I would like for him to learn to focus in these situations, as he will be faced with many pressure or stressful situations in his life, and he will need to think for himself.

Self-worth – I would like for my child to learn that her self-worth is innate.  Her success can only be judged by her, not by her coaches, her parents or her peers.  Their opinions do not matter.  All that matters is her own opinion of herself.  And she has to recognize that she has value, regardless of what anyone else in life tells her.  I want her to be self-confident and believe in herself at all times.

Friendship – I would like for my child to learn to be a friend.  Relationships are so important in life.  And sports teams are great opportunities for children to learn to make and develop deep relationships with others.

Joy – I would like for my child to learn to find the joy in what she is doing.